So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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