I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
