It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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