I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize