Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.