these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements