I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
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LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.