Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever