I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center