The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"