Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there