I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.