I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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