Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
