why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
