I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
