i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Never underestimate the power of titties
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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