omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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