Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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