I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
