Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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