My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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