Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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