Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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