a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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