just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
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When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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