she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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