Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
