I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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