ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
