big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
