did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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