Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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