there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
