hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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