Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize