I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize