Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
