ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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