she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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