The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
