Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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