your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
