I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've blown a few things in my day
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
