There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
