i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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