i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
