when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
