Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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