All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize