Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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