You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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