my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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