So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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