My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
