6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
