break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
