"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
