I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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