dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
