Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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