just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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