It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
