WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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