if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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