My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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