she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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