i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
