I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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